☂
"Hello sweetie."
Not that anyone will actually see this, but you might or might not have gotten the reference above...anyway. Please do note that this online journal has been fighting the battle of neglect and time, often on the losing end, and really does feel like some sort of blue elephant that one's got to keep somewhat alive. For the sake of tradition, I suppose.
(K) Yuan here.
linkage
blue birds flap
fandoms + happiness + the lot
where the ego centers
it's all quite narcissistic, really.
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Date: <$BlogDateHeaderDate$>
Time: 8:44 PM
Author:(potassium)
Permalink: isolation →
Indecisions and decisions.
Ello. (yes it's not going to be a very cheery post, this one aye.) Came back at 8pm from school, and a whole Trojan horse load of work is mentally thrown at me. I have a big showcase presentation thing tomorrow, and my script is not ready, and I still have my 50 kilograms of tuition homework, I also have to practice my guitar, and I also have to memorize some chunks of lines for a dramatization next week for Lit class, and I have a chunk load on my mind probably because of the monthly thing, and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh every single DAY it's like this. There's no break from this ENDLESS CYCLE of work to be done, places to go, things to learn, things to revise, things to test, things to worry, things to be sad about. And on the achievements front, this year has been quite terrible for me. I didn't get into SOTA, I didn't get into the LD comm, my grades DEPROVED even though I setted my mind to IMPROVE, and now there's just this added tonnes of stress. I feel like this toy plane balanced at the centre of gravity, and any momment now I'm going to fall off. The problem is that i don't really know what IS the source of all this. I have to poke here poke there and see lorh. Currently self-evealuations in the bathroom has led me to believe that i'm too hesitant. I would want something but yet when I speak I add a "kinda" to it, probably because I'm scared off giving the impression that I'm being arrogant. :| I care too much about what others think I suppose, and I'm sick of it. I want to be able to say "I LOVE THEATRE I WANT TO ACT " without cringing at the thought of others think things like, " But you can't act....". Maybe I can, maybe I can't, but I think it's time for me to take my side and speak of it in pride. I want to say "I want this." and not having to add a "kinda" unless I mean it. It has to start with me, and definitely it has to start soon. It's scary though. I don't know who I'll be. I don't know if I would change so much until I'm not me anymore. That would be really, very upsetting.
Have to start on big homework things now, the presentation is still tomorrow. Running tomorrow morning as well, unless the weather complies. The schedule for tomorrow is so lazy that it's almost pointless to go to school.
At least things can't get much worse than this.
Have you better days! (KJ)
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