the shatter of earth's collapse
☂
Not that anyone will actually see this, but you might or might not have gotten the reference above...anyway. Please do note that this online journal has been fighting the battle of neglect and time, often on the losing end, and really does feel like some sort of blue elephant that one's got to keep somewhat alive. For the sake of tradition, I suppose.
(K) Yuan here.
linkage
blue birds flap fandoms + happiness + the lot where the ego centersit's all quite narcissistic, really.
Date: <$BlogDateHeaderDate$>
Time: 11:37 AM
Author:(potassium)
Permalink: isolation →
AND IT IS OVER.
while bumping out it suddenly struck me that this is how my 15 year old life is going to be remembered as. carrying out blocks after blocks after props after tech lights and tech things and rushing into and out of costumes and spending all your time outside of class in rehearsals going into spaces to create and believe in a realm that we'd share with 50 or so people, one show after another crafting a character that makes sense however moronic he is and being and believing throughout his emotional journey with the silent god of theatre omnipresent then coming out of all that into your mother's car and getting home and groaning about the lines and returning to your books and undone homework and then falling asleep to get back up the next day to do all of this again, with a constant pressure pushing your sometimes lethargic self til the moment of the final, final line of the closing show ; while every other sec 4 2012 student ends up remembering this year as books books tys prelims papers macs books paper and all, we get all this. It's absolutely frightful and humbling and heartening, all at once.
And I guess this is why I don't regret coming here.
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Okay i now have a day to finish a graded math essay and a graded set of slides on either the RSS crisis or gender equality for women. A day. And here I am writing this thing.
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i guess the shows on friday were the better ones. i know i held back a little just that little and i think it might have been my voice/dry throat but still think that one, final show that could have been the best wasn't there. i know huilin said "no regrets" but i guess this is one of my small ones. (along with the lamentably short amount of rehearsal time)
i do wish they came for the friday one. san + sara, i mean. and probably wei khai + friend.
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lines from rhino keep playing in my head lol. especially when i sleep so i'd be reading berenger's lines in the last monologue while on the pillow before i realize my body is tensed up like his as well.
oh why won't you leave me alone you clingy narcissist. (frankly I still imagine benedict as him really &) )
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laughing audience member(s), your identity is known and while i took it as nervous laughter it got to the cast+crew+directors of rhino and if you don't show some sense of self or respect by doing your part in the literature presentation you're going to get it from me. oh you can not listen or laugh me off, sure, you can't be helped.
so that will be it.
you cannot be helped.
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oh and also
I went for Hair for Hope yesterday! (in my sherlock shirt :D) (NO ANDERSONS ALLOWED (Y) ) It was really lovely to see so many people taking a stand with these marginalized people and telling children that it's okay to be bald -- by starting with the larger society.
Day Two's fine so far. Mother can't stop touching my head and took endless photos yesterday, before & after. They give goodie bags and in it they have a tiny bottle of nice-smelling shampoo from body shop; all the shampoo you'd ever need! 8) Still can't quite reconcile the coolness of head with 'i do not have all that much hair now'. And my scalp is really saggy soft o_O
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agbkjdbkBKBKBDFKD math math FOCUS LAH YOU GOONDU
okay fine au revoir
(k).
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